For quite a while the main themes of IT companies and computer makers has been mobility and connectivity - IT solutions to use on the go and at any place and time. So ad agencies bombard us with those images of happy people running around with their laptops. What really ticks me off is that most of the time those images are totally off. I went to
Getty images to pull some images of laptop users you constantly run into so I can make fun off. "Using a laptop" generated 28 886 images. I went over the first 400 images.
WTF Media Concept of Laptop Usage #1 Using your laptop in bed while relaxingGreat idea. Heck, my ASUS 701 rarely leaves my bed. The Getty quiry generated 2340 images, and the "relaxing" part narrowed it down to 972. However...
Nobody can use a laptop lying on their stomach for more than 3 minutes. Period. There is a reason they put babies in this position - to strenghten their neck and shoulder muscles. It is just not practical nor comfortable. Also, it is extremely hard to type or use the touch pad. Almost all of the first 40 images of people using laptops in bed generated people sporting this position.
Apparently women are not the only ones who fall for this position. Apparently it is favoured by gay men too.
Variation 1: The Sideways position
Same as the above. The shoulder starts to hurt after 4-5 minutes, no way in hell you can type like that.
Variation 2: Lying on the couch
Not entirely unrealistic. Yet, if you have tried it, you will know the laptop will keep sliding down and it is extremely hard to type. Contrary to popular belief, laptops are rather bulky and heavy fuckers.
WTF Media Concept of Laptop Usage #2 Use your laptop everywhere - the library, the coffe shop, the airport, the beach, the park...
Ahhh, the beach. I call bull shit on this one. No one in his right mind would bring a laptop to the beach. Just imagine how much sand would get into the keyboard, it even might fuck up the optics. Also, what do you do with the laptop if you want to go for a swim? Yeah, once again everybody is relaxing lying down.
The park is another often exploited location. Throw in some minority element and you are all set. Pretty bad nobody told the dude he was sitting on sinking sands/grass.
The airport is a busy place, people trying to get places and use the time of the layovers to do some work. Do you remember the last time you saw a businesswoman lying like that at the airport? Me eigther.
Outdoors by the water. Yeah, the old fart and the chick are not going to get a cold by lying on the pier. What's up with the chick's spread legs? The boat picture - boats have a strong tendency to rock back and forthand waves can spash all over you. You seriosly want to use your laptop on the deck?
WTF Media Concept of Laptop Usage #3 All businessman use their laptops with one hand
So business-like yet so casual. Nobody carries a laptop like that more than 2-3 meters at a time. Laptops are bulky and heavy. and your hand will get tired if you carry it like that. Also, you can't provide a lot of support that way and is easy to drop it. Walking around and typing...yeah, good idea.
Here are a couple of other random rediclous images of laptop users.
Two cowboys out their in the wild, on their own and their laptop stacked with gay porn. If the two from "Brokeback mountaine" had your access to technology...
Another great father-son moment...Checking porn in the middle of the night while mom is a asleep.
His underwear choice screams "I am unemployed, single and depressed".
And finally, here is a the proper way to communicate the benefits of IT and laptop usage:
I'm pretty sure the dude is
Twitting!
WTF! Наемаш 3-4 курви и ги тикваш под душа. Сядаш в някое кресло с питие в ръка...Good times!
Nobody can use a laptop lying on their stomach for more than 3 minutes. Period. There is a reason they put babies in this position - to strenghten their neck and shoulder muscles. It is just not practical nor comfortable. Also, it is extremely hard to type or use the touch pad. Almost all of the first 40 images of people using laptops in bed generated people sporting this position.
Same as the above. The shoulder starts to hurt after 4-5 minutes, no way in hell you can type like that.
Ahhh, the beach. I call bull shit on this one. No one in his right mind would bring a laptop to the beach. Just imagine how much sand would get into the keyboard, it even might fuck up the optics. Also, what do you do with the laptop if you want to go for a swim? Yeah, once again everybody is relaxing lying down.
The park is another often exploited location. Throw in some minority element and you are all set. Pretty bad nobody told the dude he was sitting on sinking sands/grass.
The airport is a busy place, people trying to get places and use the time of the layovers to do some work. Do you remember the last time you saw a businesswoman lying like that at the airport? Me eigther.
Outdoors by the water. Yeah, the old fart and the chick are not going to get a cold by lying on the pier. What's up with the chick's spread legs? The boat picture - boats have a strong tendency to rock back and forthand waves can spash all over you. You seriosly want to use your laptop on the deck?
So business-like yet so casual. Nobody carries a laptop like that more than 2-3 meters at a time. Laptops are bulky and heavy. and your hand will get tired if you carry it like that. Also, you can't provide a lot of support that way and is easy to drop it. Walking around and typing...yeah, good idea.
Two cowboys out their in the wild, on their own and their laptop stacked with gay porn. If the two from "Brokeback mountaine" had your access to technology...
Another great father-son moment...Checking porn in the middle of the night while mom is a asleep.
His underwear choice screams "I am unemployed, single and depressed".
I'm pretty sure the dude is Twitting!
Производителя на детски играчки Mego решава да се възползва от конюктурата и новата слава на американския тираджия и пуска на пазара тази серия action figures:
Банда бесни американски селяни в jerk off contest. Redneck celebration at its finest! Това в средата е Bad Leroy, един от лошите герои.
Само каква наслада и самодоволство са изписани на лицето му...Все едно си прави майката на всички чекии, абсолютната ултимативна злобарка. Как да не му завидиш?
Йеп. Секс кукла за кучета. Забележете кученцето в дясно, как е загладило косъм и ушички...Ебати скоростта, с която hump-ва куклата (пудела изглежда доста casual)! Това е speedfucking/blitzfucking at its finest! Интересно дали куклата издава някакви звуци докато я малестват. Дупката на задника е nice finishing touch!
Често срещан феномен е образът на Христос да се пресъздава, носейки типични национални, етнически и расови черти резониращи и присъщи на художника...Като този Black Jesus например:
Братушките не са останали по-назад. Техният Христос има вид на типичен руски алкохолик на път към магазина за поредната бутилка водка. Изражението на лицето му просто крещи "Move out of my way, kids. I'm gonna get me a bottle of vodka, God damn it!"
Kyle the Baptist
За сравнително редовните 10-15 читателя на блога, моето решение да гласувам и избора ми, надали ще представляват изненада. Ако на някой не му допада, I couldn't care less.
Ако се чудите кое е това същество - това е Станка Златева, жена условно казано, състезателка по борба. По последни данни си нямаше гадже. I'm just sayin....