07 декември 2011

WTF Активисти

Покрай класацията за Човек на годината на Хелзинксия комитет и спечелването на наградата на публиката от д-р Мила Бобадова (fuck yeah! In your face bitches!) имах шанс да се запозная с дейността на набор от хора, които трърдят, че имат активна гражданска позиция и се борят за различни наболели обществени каузи. Номинацията и победата на Мила Бобадова (повече инфо за нея и работата има тук) осветли една доста грозна картина. Оказа се, че част от хората, които се борят за едно по-добро общество са супер помпозни дрисъци и трудно приемат и разбират чуждите каузи. Също така явно всеки успял да се докопа до званието "активист" автоматично става морално извисен, с 2 метра кур/98 санта гръдна обиколка и задник две шепи при жените, три ташака (наблюадава се и при двата пола), и IQто му скача над това на Стивън Хокинг.

В следствие на тази ми отрезвителна среща с част от съвременния български елит, след студентите второкурсници, банковите чиновници, синдикални шефове и разни държавни и общински бюрократи, от днес в числото на най-мразени прослойки в обществото слагам и "активистите"! Вие сте "активист" ако:

1) За свое main occupation/full time job слагате "Активист"
2) Поне 20 пъти дневно заявявате устно или писмено "Аз се боря за X"
3) Имате блог
4) Имате twitter акаунт
5) Често сте неразбран от плебса и това ви кара да страдате.
6) В следствие на 5) търсите подкрепа и утеха при други "активисти" (не е задължително са свързани с вашата кауза, достатъчно е да "активисти")

So what would Brian Boitano do?

09 ноември 2011

WTF Nokia C5 Review

I was riding the subway this morning when a Nokia C5 ad poster caught my attention. I did some digging on the internet and came to the conclusion this phone was tailored exclusively for the bohemian Caucasian (a fancy word for white) male. Why? Here is why, bitches!

This is the image of the Nokia C5 that appears most often in the ads and on the internet.

The top 3 contacts on the phone are an Asian chick, a white dude, and a black dude with outrageous afro. The top 3 contacts of any black guy (or any Asian or Latin guy for that matter) would feature exclusively black guys, maybe his black girlfriend. However, all of them would be of the same race! Only a bohemian white dude can afford interracial social interaction of this proportion. And that's cause he is all into diversity and shit.

The Asian chick, Susan, looks like she is a first generation Korean which is a good thing...if you are a white guy dating her. Chances are she has very conservative Korean parents and hence is pretty rebellious and will go bonkers in bed.

Antti - the white Finish guy. Maybe the bff or just the cool European dude that brings exotic pills and DJs at parties.

Bob - black guy, sporting an afro. Maybe another bff, basketball buddy, or just the pot dealer. I bet on the former.

Now lets go back to the bohemian nature of the typical Nokia C5 owner.
"Lunch with Bill 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm." Damn, brother, 2 hour lunch with the homie?
Hey and that's not all. Party at Jo Smith this weekend...Sweet.

25 август 2011

WTF Kid's Game of the Day

I am a dog person. Maybe someday I'll have kids too...but no way they'll be playing this shit...or with dog shit!

20 юли 2011

WTF Commercial of the Day

Mmmm, pussy!

Apparently they have been running this in movie theaters before the new Harry Potter movie. Never too young to take care of your vagage!
(Hat tip to SI's Extra Mustard)

17 юли 2011

WTF Bootstrapping Advertising

Hayat Chemicals Bulgaria is no Henkel or Fikosota Syntez. Hayat Bulgaria will tell you they don't have the financial resources to run the the type of marketing and advertising campaigns Henkel and Fikosota run. So they bootstrap, do their advertising inhouse...and they suck at it. Big time.

This outdoor ad made my eyes bleed for several months. So what we have here - we have a product "Bingo Enzy Max" - a washing detergent that apparently will get rid of any stain on your precious dress or shirt. So far so good. Then we have the two gals. Here is where the whole thing goes south.

I'm pretty sure the chick in pink is the daughter of the Hayat Bulgaria's boss. The guy decided to cut corners when it came to hiring a profesional advertising agency so he probably did the whole concept development himself. "Ok, we'll have the product, value proposition (hella lame by the way) ot top...then we need some sexy in it. I'll just put my daughter in it, she will love it as she is an aspiring model/folk singer/all of the above. And we'll throw in Bonka from Procurement too...She gives me the woody so why not!" Some Photoshop work and we have our outdoor advertising and can pat ourselelves on the back, no?

Products like "Bingo Enzy Max" promise resurrection of the ruined cloths, a return to perfection. The marketing activities should scream loud and clear "Flawless"/"Perfection."

This does not speak "Flawless"! Don't belive me? Here is a closer look:

Everytime I saw this ad, this scene from "Uncle Buck" popped in my head:

Not perfection, not stain free shirts...but a fucking rat gnawing on this thing...

18 април 2011

WTF Product of the Day

A 4 day weekend is coming up and I'm stuck in Sofia. What better way to spend the long weekend than eat pizza, watch movies and apply heavily the Gentlemen's Ball Scratcher.

Product Features

  • Gentleman's Ball Scratcher for the busy male executive
  • Handheld chrome-effect ball scratcher presented in a deluxe metal case
  • Ideal for those hard-to-reach places
  • In the shape of a delicate female hand
  • 9-inch handle for extra reach
What's not to like, right? The midget sized delicate female hand is a boon!

I'm kinda disappointed the hand is not made of silver though. I really hope I can order a custom made one. Nothing but the best for my precious jewels.