WTF Corporate Web Site of the Day

Gotta love Fatboy Slim while job hunting (click here for good times)...really sets the mood and prepares you to deal with ape shit.

WTF Midget Furniture

Това е малко старо, но имам повод да го пусна на блога: Chinese Dwarf Theme Park!

Явно midgеt манията е заразна и е стигнала до България, защото веригата мебелни магазини "Лабиринт" са пуснали специална серия midget furniture. А може би малките хора, като целева група, демонстрират най-висок потенциал за ръст в тези смутни икономически времена.

WTF Wedding Festivities

I was messing around in Facebook the other day when I stumbled upon My Art Wedding's page. Here is an example of the fabulous work they do:

Yep, life has never been so colourful behind bars. Just don't drop the soap. Oh wait, that's a wedding...My bad.

I consider myself a scholar when it comes to various elements of the wedding festivities. I have produced an extensive body of research on the topic of bride's bouquets (here & here) and their impact on the female state of mind.

Several weeks ago I received an unique chance to test my theories and observations in a natural setting. I had to literally swim with the sharks. For some reason the bride wasn't wearing a garter (No sexy underwear? Where is this marriage going?) so they lumped the single gals and lads for the bouquet's throwing.

How cool was that? I was batting against the heavy majors - real single women desperate to get married, have babies and ruin a guy's life. Once in a lifetime opportunity. It totally went by the book - the approach on the wing, etc.

Can I look any calmer than that? One handed catch executed with my left hand! I even went LeBron James on them with the right hand behind the back thing. That's how you kick ass!

I had some final words for the three hapless ladies that tried to compete against me: "In your face!"

I've never smelled the smell of napalm in the morning, but man, that bouquet really smelled like Victory!

Eye of the tiger, baby!

Prior to unleashing total domination and annihilation at the wedding, I designed a special play to catch the bouquet. I call it the "Superdickery" play and it should be executed only as a measure of last resort in desperate times (yeah, I'm talking to you 45 year old still single lady). So here is how the play goes:

Try to block the throw with both hands, like a volleyball block. Then run for your life.

In the process of catching the bouquet, it occurred to me that there is one instance where the "wing" approach won't work and needs a further and thorough review - the high arch toss.

Usually the bride uses a low arch as the most desperate and eager to get married are always lined up in the front. However, once and a while the bride will apply a high arch, giving the back rows a chance to ruin their lives forever too. This imposes a great risk on the front women, as they might try to jump for the bouquet while wearing high heels (the most common shoe worn at weddings). This might result in severe foot injuries - from the basic sprained ankle to the more severe torn ligaments and shit. And now the chick ends up with no bouquet and a severe limp which further diminishes her chances to land a husband. However, you can always get these bad boys: Gucci Air Jordan High Heels.

WTF T-Shirt of the Day

It takes a sick mind to design such a shirt and a sick mind to wear it. On the other hand, it is a perfect attire for wedding receptions, job interviews, funerals or a dinner with your girlfriend's parents.

(h/t SI's Extra Mustard)

WTF Brand of The Day

Днес в живота ми с гръм и трясък нахлу една нова марка - Баджанашко.

В първият момент си помислих,че става въпрос за вино...Всъщност тази марка може да послужи за доста широк набор от продукти - ракия, мастика, всякакви месни изделия широко застъпени и присъстващи в културата на хранене на средностатистическия българин. Все още е рано за "Баджанашки" черен хайвер.

Слоганът на марката не отстъпва на името - "Баджанашко - по-добро от домашното!" С този слоган се погалва една много нежна струна в душата на българина - завистта и желанието да посегне на чуждото.

Това е логото, въобще акцеденцията на марката е пипната от всякъде, няма пропуснат елемент - име, слоган, шрифт, лого... Предполагам това е кравата на баджанака. Не изглежда никак щастлива. Няма и как да е. Да не мислите, че тия двама селски момъка я жалят с доенето тази чужда крава? Никакъв foreplay, мачкай вимето, капка да не остане...че ако ги хване баджанака ще падне чобански бой с геги.

WTF TV Show Host

That's Fergie Oliver - a TV host of a Canadian kid's show in the early 80's. You gotta love the way the crowd cheers everytime he makes out with a little girl. Oh Canada...Fun fact - the co-host of the show was his wife...

(Credit: SI' Extra Mustard)

WTF Сексбомбата Цветан Цветанов 2

Защо гледа така тъжно Цецо Секса? Защото току що са му съобщили,че короната на Секс Символ на 2010 отива при друг.

(Photo credit: Sofia Photo Agency)